We all have either experienced it or have seen it, not just in real life but in movies and TV shows. There is always a clash of some sort between students, particularly teenagers, towards their parents.
Most of these can be blamed for hormones. As teenagers hit puberty, they have sudden mood changes, that even small, petty things seem big, big enough to have a confrontation and arguments with their parents.
But another reason this is happening is that as teenagers reach a new chapter in their lives, they experience new self-awareness about themselves, and by doing so, they want their parents to see them in this new image they see in themselves- or want themselves to be. That is why they tend to challenge their parents in most things, they want their parents to recognize and respect them for their new selves. For parents to trust them in their decisions and choices in life. That they are not the children their parents knew them anymore.
To a student’s/teenager’s point of view, their parents are trying to restrict them to become who they want to be. They think their parents are trying to mold them into someone they are not, into who their parents want them to be instead of who they should be. While in the eyes of the parents, they just want to steer their children to the right path, especially since they have most likely been in those situations. It is a tricky, sensitive relationship to be honest, and both should learn to be extremely cautious not to go overboard during heated arguments.
Here are the common reasons why students/teenagers have arguments and mistrust towards their parents:
- House Rules.
- Parents want to implement rules in the house. Teenagers want to break them, and sometimes for no reason at all. Teenagers feel like their freedom is being challenged, while the parents just want to teach their children discipline and responsibility. Rules like curfew time or household chores are common issues.
- Always going out.
- Another issue that causes a clash between parents and teenagers. Its normal for teenagers to hang out with friends, but sometimes overdo it, worrying the parents in the process, and the teenager forgetting responsibilities at home.
- School performance.
- This is a very common issue that almost all of us experienced at one point or another. Parents tend to put pressure on their children by expecting high grades, but for most teenagers, as long as they get a passing grade it is enough. This is another reason why teenagers think their parents are just trying to restrict their happiness.
- Smoking and drinking.
- Most people experience these, especially during their teenage days. Even the parents who are against it. Of course, as parents, they know the dangers these habits may lead to and cause. But to teenagers, it is part of life, part of growing up. So when parents try to tell their teenagers not to do it, the more the teenagers want to smoke and drink.
- Setting an example
- If parents don’t act accordingly, kids will use this as a defense whenever they do something wrong. They might say that if the parent does it, then why can’t they do it, too? That is why this argument can be the most complicated of all because there is no defense when you, as a parent, are doing something just as wrong. That is why it is important for parents to set an example and vice versa.
So yes, it is very normal for parents and their teenagers to argue and distrust each other. Aside from hormones and mood change teenagers feel, it is also an age/generation thing. The good news is that in most cases, teenagers who drift away from their parents in terms of their relationship, tend to fix it as they mature and grow old. It is a normal thing, but something both parties must be sensitive about.